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Health education suggests the dangers of over-indulgence in consuming meals and lounging around. You may consider the view if you really like doing something, you must not feel guilty concerning this. Or you might think you should moderate your guilty pleasures once they negatively affect others.
Then again you could imagine you ought to cut back time or cash yourself for the health of the family. Also remain loyal for a partner despite temptation to remain behind their back by incorporating other attractive person. Or perhaps you assume that infidelity might be guilt free and harms not a soul as long because it remains a secret liaison. When you are feeling guilty what when you do? Shrug the shoulders and try to neglect the unpleasant feeling? Or handle it in certain other way? Are your guilty feelings mistaken or potentially helpful to you?
Anxiety, shame and guilty feelings
It’s hard to disentangle guilt, anxiety and shame. You may be in control of a child who’s got a temper tantrum in the supermarket. Not your fault – but that will not prevent you feeling deeply self-conscious and embarrassed through the stares and ‘tut tuts’ of other shoppers that are assuming it can be. It might not also be your child. You’ve done nothing against your conscience to warrant any guilty feeling.
When the 2nd world-war ended some French women underwent public humiliation with their heads shaved for sleeping together with the enemy. Their conduct was okay by them provided that it gave them nice things and favours.
Guilt isn’t going to apply if perhaps getting confronted with public gaze would be the problem. Like the person who’s no conscience and therefore no guilt about secretly having many sexual partner. Only the fear of being found.
Mistaken guilt feelings
There appear to be inborn individual differences in conscientiousness. Some people tend towards thoughtfulness and impulse control. They tend to finish tasks. Others are less thoughtful plus much more inclined towards impulsiveness taking less good things. The conscientious ones tend to be prone to guilt feelings.
When you see a guilty feeling you might be being unfair on yourself. Your guilt could be illogical and mistaken or anyway exaggerated. But nevertheless you get going on a guilt trip. So you keep quiet about whatever it really is you have a guilty feeling about. You keep it secret as you think you’ll be judged by it. But you already have judged yourself. You could be afraid to be honest as it will likely be proof that you’ll be unworthy and unlovable.
For a long time this was true of Ronda Brittain. She was the guts child of three girls, the target of her divorced father’s physical and emotional abuse. At the day of 14, she was the sole witness to her father shooting and killing her mother then shooting himself. She aimed to commit suicide triple until she realised that they was being unfair on herself.
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